


set a fire and make it our own

by glissandos



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends to Lovers, Confessions, F/F, Getting Together, Light Angst, Post-High School, Rekindling Friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26311090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glissandos/pseuds/glissandos
Summary: There are many things Siyeon could be thinking about during her free time, but there are only two thoughts that seem to repeatedly run through her head.1. Siyeon is beginning to realize that she has feelings for her best friend.but...2. Siyeon and her best friend had a gradual falling out months ago.Luckily, winter break presents an opportunity for Siyeon to set things right again. To rekindle her friendship with Bora, and—she doesn’t want to get her hopes too high but—maybe also let it grow into something more.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 21
Kudos: 144





	set a fire and make it our own

Sometimes, Siyeon feels like a ghost. 

The lights stay on until it’s past midnight, and Siyeon watches herself: hunched over the desk in the dorm room, scrambling to read books and take notes lest the impending deadlines swallow her whole and she vanishes for good into the air.

Sometimes, her roommate is out for the night, and save for the scratching of pen on paper, or the tapping of her fingers on the keyboard, the dorm is impeccably quiet—so quiet that it’s like almost nobody is living there. 

But Siyeon tries not to be a ghost, anyway. During the day, at least, she navigates college as a freshman and does her best to put awkwardness aside when delving into conversation with strangers. Maybe she makes a few reliable friends whom she’s developed soft spots for. 

It’s just… sometimes she can’t help but feel as if she’s leaving part of her past life behind.

Well—some parts she wants to leave behind; it’s the whole idea of starting fresh someplace new and not make the same mistakes you did years ago. But still… 

From time to time, Siyeon finds herself ruminating on this and can’t help but regret it—how she’d let so much of her past just slip away. Not making the effort to talk to people, and then counting the days between conversations, watching as the number grew bigger and bigger. 

That’s why she’s trying harder now to keep her newfound friends—she misses her high school friends; though they’d gone their separate ways they’d never been on bad terms with each other. 

Sometimes, however, physical distance leads to emotional distance, too. And Siyeon’s not about to start up a conversation at one in the morning after months of radio silence. 

And… it would be easier to let the past slip away had she not come to a recent revelation about one of those friends. She and Bora were close throughout high school—they started as shy lunch buddies and then became a loud mess of cackling laughter and shoulders slung around each other. Siyeon thinks there wasn’t anyone else she had ever been so happy simply _existing_ with.

When the summer after high school rolled around, then things had started to fall apart. It had seemed impossible that they could be separated, but Bora got a job, for one, while Siyeon’s family decided to take a vacation before she went off to college, so they barely saw each other. Then summer came to an end and they were saying goodbye as they parted ways but Siyeon thought they’d still talk and they _did,_ it’s just that at some point they _didn’t_ anymore.

There’s a saying that you miss something as it grows absent. Siyeon thinks that’s applicable to the idea of some _one_ too. 

So here she is: on a ten minute break from studying because there’s only so much information her brain can handle before frying. And there are many other things Siyeon could be thinking about during her self-allocated free time, but—lately—these are only two thoughts that seem to repeatedly run through her head:

The realization that she has feelings for her best friend…dampened by the sad truth that she and Bora had a gradual falling out months ago.

So it might also be a bit too late for her now. Maybe. Probably. But Siyeon still thinks about it anyway.

\---

Coincidences always leave Siyeon wondering: are they really just coincidences? Or are they something more?

Example: After getting sentimental about the past yet _again,_ Siyeon conks out on her textbooks. The next morning she wakes up to texts on her phone from a contact name she hasn’t seen in so long:

 **Bora:** hello! how are you doing?

 _Funny, I was just thinking about you last night,_ she wants to say, but she doesn’t think the text calls for such a response. _I still think about you a lot_ also crosses her mind, but that’s even worse. 

Siyeon stares at the message for a solid five minutes. Her strained eyes yell at her but she keeps rereading those five words over and over again. It’s one simple message but it feels like more than that.

Finally, she brings her fingers to work. 

**Siyeon:** a bit tired, but i guess i’m faring well enough! you?

There’s no immediate reply, but after brushing her teeth and washing her face (and frowning at the dark shadows under her eyes) her phone lights up with a response. 

**Bora:** also dead tired. college DD: 

**Bora:** anyway, winter break is coming soon and my parents wanted me to come back and stay with them. do you have any plans?

Her heart rises, and then falls. So they’re going to pretend they haven’t talked since the school year practically started. 

Or maybe there’s nothing to pretend about, Siyeon thinks, suddenly weary. Would old friends really judge you for starting up a conversation even after a daunting wall of silence? She’s glad Bora said something, after all, even if she can only call herself a coward now.

 **Siyeon:** i’m probably going back home over break too. why do you ask?

 **Bora:** we should meet up again

 **Siyeon:** ok. I would be down for that ^-^

Siyeon sends a cheery emoji, but the atmosphere seems heavy like it’s fostering burgeoning storm clouds and thoughts left unaddressed. Siyeon thinks that both of them want to say more, but if she still knows Bora well enough, then they’re both saving it for when they see each other in person.

\---

The weeks before winter break pass in a haze like their own swirling storm. Siyeon discovers that her expensive math textbook is a flimsy piece of shit whose front cover splits off when she accidentally pushes it off her desk. Another time, she forgets her umbrella, and instead of running back from class to the dorms she just sits on the steps under the building overhang, watching the rain pound steadily against the ground. 

Each drop meets the pavement with its own force, before breaking out into ripples in the puddles on the ground. Kind of like friendships, Siyeon thinks. First they hit you when you’ve realized you’ve truly found a friend. Then before you know they’ve woven themselves everywhere. Everything reminds you of them. 

Maybe it’s dumb, but even just the rain itself reminds her of Bora:

One time they’d gone to the park to study (fully knowing that they wouldn’t) and the skies had a quick change of mind as the sun had disappeared behind grey clouds and then pouring rain. They ran to the shelter of the nearest bus stop and Bora had looked magical, her hair sparkling with tiny drops and her grinning face streaked with water. 

Reminiscing on this makes the pull on her heart worse, but she can’t help the memories that resurface. She tries to think about it in a positive light; maybe she’ll make more memories with Bora this winter. Maybe. She doesn’t want to get too hopeful, either.

Eventually, the rain dies down and Siyeon treads back to the residence halls. She’s not sure if she’s looking forward to break or not. It’s a mixture of being aware that she’ll have to confront the past, but also that this is the _present_ now, and that her feelings are a subject that span both timespaces.

\---

**Bora:** so… are you back home yet?

 _Home._ Siyeon considers the words, settling into her familiar chair and looking out into the backyard. It’s raining, because of course it is. Does she feel tethered to her room, her old belongings sitting in the closet? Sort of. But the Siyeon sitting in her room today isn’t the same Siyeon who sat in her room in the summer. Even a few months can create differences, no matter how imperceptible.

 **Siyeon:** nice timing! Just got back hehe

 **Bora:** aw yeah i had a hunch and it was right~ want to meet up later?

It’s too soon, Siyeon thinks. But she decides to let the rain sweep her away today.

 **Siyeon:** sure, where to?

 **Bora:** you’ll see. i’ll pick you up at five, is that okay?

 **Siyeon:** cool. Looking forward to it!

 **Bora:** :DD

\---

Bora pulls up to the sidewalk in her mother’s car, an old but still fairly shiny sedan. It’s stopped raining but the sky is still overcast and seems to promise another downpour, so Siyeon takes an umbrella as she slips out the door. 

Bora keeps waving at her in the car with a big smile on her face and some of the tension in Siyeon’s shoulders fade. She still can’t help but feel nervous, though—the steps from her front door to the car seem to pass too quickly.

One the car door closes behind her, Siyeon’s not sure what to say. It’s just her and Bora in the parked car, the engine quietly humming beneath them and the world muted outside.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it,” Bora says for her. She steers the car back into the road, nagivating the neighborhood streets with the ease of muscle memory. 

“Yeah,” Siyeon can only say. “So where are we going?”

“Nice try,” Bora grins, “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Siyeon lets a small huff of laughter escape her mouth, and some more stiffness leaves with it. 

\---

The rain is starting up again as Bora parks the car in an old strip mall that they used to sometimes go to. With time, many of the smaller places have circulated ownership or changed hands, creating unfamiliarity in this familiar space.

Turns out Bora hadn’t decided on a specific place either, so they wander down the row, peering at the menus pasted in the windows until they end up inside a homey noodle shop with a big GRAND OPENING sign hanging over its front. 

The inside is warm and heated when they file in and a man points them to a small table for two in the corner. Only one other table is taken—by an old couple that sits there as if they’d known the place their entire life. Maybe they do. Maybe only the name has changed, and the inside of this nook is actually the same.

After their orders are taken, Bora starts conversation again. 

“I am so excited to eat some good noodles,” she says. “I’m getting sick of dining hall food and I think the amount of instant stuff I boiled in college is going to come back and bite me.”

Siyeon laughs. “Didn’t you go out to eat occasionally too, though?”

Bora makes a face. “Yeah, but I’m just thinking about warm noodles while sitting inside as it rains outside, you know? And you’re here,” she says, meeting Siyeon’s eyes with a soft smile. 

“Ah yes—I make the noodles taste infinitely better,” Siyeon says, playing along, because it’s easier than trying to digest what Bora means with that statement.

“Of course,” Bora replies easily. “Anyway, I missed you. A lot,” she says honestly. “I’ve been busy but I still wanted to apologize for not being a better friend. We should have talked more but I kind of just let it fall apart.”

Oh. Siyeon suddenly finds interest in the window behind Bora, in the rain pattering down outside. She wants to say she’s surprised that Bora addressed it, but she’s not. That’s just how Bora’s been—she speaks what’s on her mind. 

Siyeon forces herself to look back at Bora. “I’m sorry too,” she says. “I could’ve tried harder too but I didn’t. And… I also missed you.”

“We’re not going to let this friendship fall apart this time, are we?” Bora asks. It sounds like half a challenge, and half a promise. She makes it sound simple, and yet… 

“We’re not,” Siyeon agrees. Silently, she decides to take things slowly again—friendship first, and then she’ll see where her feelings deliver her.

The food arrives in brimming bowls and Siyeon inhales the salty steam. They forgo conversation to slurp up savory noodles instead and Bora was right—there’s just something about being somewhere cozy on a rainy day, eating hot food and being with the people that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

\---

Sometime later that week, it snows—enough to actually leave the roofs and lawns coated in a sheet of white instead of just small puddles of melted ice. 

**Siyeon:** i’m coming over

 **Bora:** ok

 **Bora:** wait what??? now???

On an impulse, Siyeon walks over to Bora’s house with a shovel and a big chocolate bar. 

Bora stares at her when she opens the door. 

“I can’t believe you walked through the snow when I could’ve just picked you up,” she says.

“It’s a short walk and it’s not snowing anymore,” Siyeon replies. Besides, the cold air outside had been refreshing in a way, and given her time to think as she walked over.

Siyeon hefts the shovel higher. “Snowman,” she says. “And to make hot chocolate later.” She holds the bar out for Bora to put away for now.

Bora stares at her some more, almost like she’s searching Siyeon’s face for a reason as to _why._ Siyeon shrugs. There isn’t really a why; she just felt like it. Like the old high school days, she thinks. 

“I mean… sure,” Bora finally relents, leaving the chocolate on the table and pulling on a coat and a pair of boots. Because the only shovel Bora has is an old and rusty thing stored in her shed, they take turns using Siyeon’s to shovel up the snow in the backyard into a pile and get to work molding it into large mounds. 

As expected, the end result is a sore sight for the eyes—the snowman looks more like a blobby upside-down cone than anything else. And Bora arranges the stones on the face so that the snowman has a maniacal smile, one that she maniacally cackles at with an uncanny resemblance. Siyeon laughs, taking a picture of the sight with her phone, and easily lets Bora stop her when she tries to make it look nicer.

“You have to leave it like that. It’s beautiful,” Bora tells her, wiping a fake tear rolling down her cheeks.

Siyeon rolls her eyes good-naturedly and then slaps a small ball of snow on her back, which results in Bora chasing her through the yard like they’re kids again as she tries to get a hit on Siyeon. Siyeon retreats inside the house and Bora gives up and follows, both of them flopping onto the couch as exhaustion finally hits their bones.

Also, Siyeon ends up making the hot chocolate by herself while Bora grins lazily at her as she scrolls through her phone from the couch. Of course it had to be because of rock-paper-scissors.

Siyeon can’t really be mad though, can only pretend to be when it comes to Bora. It’s all in good fun, anyway, but she glares back for good measure while she waits for the milk to heat up.

Their friendship seems to have picked itself back up almost effortlessly, evident in the way nothing needs to be said as they lean back into the sofa and sip from their steaming mugs. 

They head up to her room where Bora puts a movie on her laptop—some marvel one that they’ve already watched but it doesn’t really matter because once again Siyeon feels so cozy sitting on the bed. The laptop is kind of making her right leg numb but they’re curled up in soft blankets and Bora snuggles up into her side, leaning against her shoulder and making remarks that shouldn’t be funny but are funny anyway when different characters appear on screen. 

Siyeon doesn’t ever feel like a ghost here. She thinks that maybe the warm and comfortable feeling in her chest is also a sort of home.

\---

Something shifts during that first week of winter break. Christmas passes without much event, but Siyeon and Bora still talk online and go out to get food together again the evening after. It’s enough to give Siyeon a growing hope and more determination that she should push through with a confession before break ends. 

That doesn’t mean she won’t drag her toes a little, though.

For New Year’s Eve Bora invites her and a couple other high school friends that are also back home to some restaurant downtown. _It’ll be nice to get the group together again,_ she says, and though Siyeon would want to be selfish and only go out with Bora she can’t help but agree; though she was never as close with Minji and Handong, they’ve always gotten along well and been supportive of each other. 

They end up reminiscing on high school and catching up on each other for far too long and finally spill out of the restaurant half past ten, probably much to the relief of the waiter who had been serving their table. Minji says there’s some fair within walking distance and they agree, if only to prolong their time together for a little longer.

The fair isn’t that great—lights too bright and obnoxiously cheery music blasting through bad speakers. They entertain themselves by attempting some carnival games that are evidently rigged before giving up on the prizes and leaving. They find an open bench in a park nearby, away from all the excitement and noise. 

“It’s almost midnight,” Handong tells them, checking her phone. 

“Time?” Siyeon asks.

“Fifty-six,” Handong informs her. 

Minji grins. “Anyone going to make any resolutions? New year, new me?”

Handong shoves her, but it is light-hearted with no real bite. “As if we’re the people who would stick to them.”

“Pfft, I don’t know what you mean,” Bora says, leaning against Siyeon. She’s suddenly all-to-aware of the movement of Bora’s shoulders shaking against hers as she laughs. 

“You’re least likely,” Minji declares, but she laughs along anyway. 

The laughter dissolves into a peaceful silence. None of them are aware of the exact time but at some point distant firecrackers start going off and there’s a cheer in the background. 

“Happy New Year,” Siyeon is the first to say. 

“Happy New Year,” the others return. There is more silence, as if none of them want to get up from the bench and part ways. 

She thinks Handong and Minji start playing some delirious game of footsie on her right, and then Siyeon feels a new weight on her left shoulder makes the mistake of glancing towards it. 

“Happy New Year,” Bora says again, but she whispers it this time like it’s only meant for her. And Bora is looking up at Siyeon, head still resting on her shoulders like it’s the most comfortable place in the world. 

In that instant, Siyeon has the urge to push Bora up and kiss her. She almost does, because she and Bora hold eye contact for far too long and Siyeon feels herself becoming less aware of the sporadic firecracker noises and more aware of the way Bora’s eyes sparkle under the lamppost.

But she averts her eyes first. She can’t do it. Maybe it’s the fact that they only just rekindled their friendship and that she’s scared if she acts she’ll put an end to it again. 

She turns back and Handong gives her a curious, maybe-knowing look, and Siyeon doesn’t want to see that either so she resorts to staring at her feet. 

Then Bora lets out a tiny sigh, a barely perceptible exhale against her shoulder, and Siyeon wonders, just a little, if Bora had wanted it too. And she thinks that if they were truly good friends again then they wouldn’t let anything ruin their friendship twice. Probably. 

So Siyeon decides to be just a little more brave. She takes Bora’s hand and intertwines their fingers and feels a little warmer inside. Bora doesn’t say anything, but she does give their fingers a good squeeze, and Siyeon lets her shoulders loosen, relieved. 

Four more days left, she thinks.

\---

Four days isn’t a long time.

\---

On New Year’s and the day after, Siyeon stays home and she and Bora message each other in semi-silted conversation and Siyeon isn’t sure what to make of it.

The next day they don’t talk at all. 

On the last day Siyeon decides that she is going to confess anyway. She gets halfway to Bora’s house before she starts chickening out. She makes herself keep walking, one step at a time, and rings the doorbell with her heart in her throat, trying to stifle her apprehension.

Bora’s mother opens the door instead, because of course today’s Sunday and she isn’t out working. Siyeon feels relieved but also more embarrassed because the way Bora’s mother is worriedly regarding her means her nervousness is palpable. When Bora comes downstairs Siyeon hastily asks if she wants to take a walk outside instead because the outside air is more liberating. And there aren’t people around.

Bora looks confused (probably because Siyeon hadn’t given her any warning this time before spontaneously showing up) but goes along with it, which is how they end up trekking down the sidewalk with no actual destination in mind while Bora makes small talk and Siyeon tries to gather her words. 

She still can’t. 

Somehow, their feet take them to the same park they’d gotten rained in on that one time a year and a half ago. Siyeon wonders if this is also really a coincidence, or if it is because of a subconscious pull. 

The picnic tables are wet from lingering snow so they climb the playground like kids and resort to sitting cross-legged and facing each other on one of the high platforms that is shielded by a plastic turret overhead.

“I don’t want break to end,” Bora says, a wistful smile on her face. “I finally got rid of the bags under my eyes,” she cracks, and Siyeon grins but she can’t laugh because her heart is on the verge of spilling out of her mouth.

Bora notices the strained look on her face and her eyes crease, concerned.

“Me neither,” Siyeon says, if only to say something. She swallows. Sneaks a glance at Bora’s face. She is still worried, but her eyes are inquisitive and inviting… and… Siyeon actually feels a lot better now.

She inhales. Exhales. Then she lets her mouth takes control because she cannot stand hiding this from her best friend any longer: “Bora, I think… I think I’m in love with you.”

And there it is.

Siyeon’s cheeks are flushed—and not just from the cold—as she looks away, anywhere but at the girl in front of her. Her chest is pounding but it also feels incredibly light, finally having revealed the secret that has been pent up inside for so long.

A pair of warm hands—how are Bora’s hands still so _warm_ in the cold?—wrap around her own and Siyeon finally looks back up. 

“I love you too,” Bora says simply. She is looking at Siyeon with a gaze that could melt all the snow in the park and rubbing comforting circles into Siyeon’s hands and Siyeon cannot think.

“Not… not just as friends,” she stupidly stutters out.

“Siyeon, I know,” Bora gently tells her, laughing softly and _oh—_ Siyeon can’t help the tiny, giddy laugh that escapes her own mouth. “Me too.” Bora’s eyes are immeasurably fond. 

Their hands are still woven together when Bora leans forward and presses her lips to Siyeon’s mouth. It is the softest of touches but it is so tangible and sweet and Siyeon finally feels like she is no longer stuck flitting uncertainly between the present and the past—that the two are merging together into something definite and real. And that they promise hope in the future.

Siyeon chases Bora’s lips when she pulls back and Bora laughs into the kiss, noses bumping. That only serves to make them dissolve into soft tittering.

“You have nice timing,” Bora teases her. “I only get you for a day and then I won’t see you in person for a long time.”

Siyeon ducks her head away, shy. “I was scared. And we should video call,” she declares. 

“I was scared, too,” Bora admits. “I wanted to kiss you on New Year’s but I couldn’t do it.”

“No, _I_ wanted to kiss _you,_ ” Siyeon retorts, heart soaring. She is captivated by the way Bora’s mouth curls up into an uncontrollable grin and cannot stop her own face from mirroring it.

“Well—then I’m glad we sorted that out,” Bora says, and pulls Siyeon by the back of her neck with her fiery hands to kiss her again. 

Siyeon thinks this is how wandering travelers must have felt to finally stumble across a home in the middle of a blizzard. A cottage with its lights on and the fireplace lit, harboring a welcoming owner offering a toasty drink and a warm meal. 

Except, together in this moment, all of it is their own.

\---

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello :^)) since i have lately gotten into dreamcatcher and they're currently still promoting for their comeback i figured i'd write a little something. maybe this is a bit self-indulgent but i've always had a soft spot for successfully-rekindled friendships. 
> 
> anyway, if you're here, thank you for reading! let me know what you thought and have a great rest of your day/night!


End file.
